Oh, the tales from the boobie bar!

I was reading customers_suck and squigglz posts this little gem:

(Oh, backstory: squigglz�s a dancer at a strip club.)

There�s a customer who comes in only every once in a very great while. When he does, he picks a girl, seemingly at random, and gets $1000 worth of courts (the 30 minute dances) with her. During the courts, he doesn�t want the girl to dance-no, he wants the girl to lay down with her head in his lap, face away from him (so not in a perv way, but more like in the way an exhausted child might zonk out on her father�s lap).

Then, for the duration of the series of courts he bought, he just strokes the dancer�s hair gently and says, sadly,

�Poor dead stripper.�

And then he gives the girl an extra five grand (I guess he knows how goddamned creepy that shit is), and leaves again, not to return for a year or more.

...I cannot even BEGIN to fathom this man�s issues.

Apparently $1000 worth of private dances works out to about six hours� worth. So, six hours of �Poor dead stripper.� Wow.

On the one hand, I�m mildly concerned about this guy�s mental health � this isn�t exactly a healthy fetish of sorts � it kind of sounds like the thing a serial killer would do after he hatchets a stripper to death. However, it seems like whatever itch he needs to get scratched gets, well, scratched by doing this �every once in a very great while.� He realizes that it�s not, particularly, �normal� (hey, what is normal?) but he pays the stripper for her time (and tips an extra $5000) and leaves satiated. (Let us all hope this is the case and the guy doesn�t turn out to be some creepy serial killer in the making.*)

On the other hand: WHAT. THE. FUCK? This has to be the funniest fucking thing I�ve ever heard. Kudos to the ladies for not laughing their heads off because I couldn�t imagine not giggling (whether for awkwardness, sheer what-the-fuckery, or because of nerves). Though I do recognize that this would be significantly disarming to quell the giggle-factor until well after the guy�s left.

(All of squigglz�s Tales from the Boobie Bar are mind-blowingly fabulous. It makes me want to go out and get a job bartending at a strip club just to point and laugh at see the weirdoes.)

* I�m surprised I jumped to the whole, OMG!Serial killer in the making! It�s just a fantasy. I suppose I jumped to that conclusion because, well, I have no fucking clue.