As you can guess, Dear Abby had a different suggestion.

This is a Dear Abby letter from Thursday:

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago I had an affair with a woman I met at a local benefit. I'll call her "Desiree." As luck would have it, a few years later, Desiree would become my sister-in-law.

My wife has always been jealous of her "more attractive" sister. She reminds me of that fact every time we visit. Now Desiree is having money problems, and she's threatening to tell my wife about our "history" if I don't accommodate her needs.

My marriage is already on thin ice because I ran over my wife's dog and forgot our anniversary in the same week. What should I do? -- BLACKMAILED IN BURBANK

Obviously, the only solution to your problem, Blackmailed in Burbank, is suicide.

Frankly, I wouldn�t have waited for the forgotten anniversary and the confession that he slept with my (non-existent) sister. I probably would�ve kicked him out after he RAN OVER MY DOG. (That is if I was stupid enough to marry this idiot in the first place.)

Running over my dog? Deal breaker. This just may just be a gut reaction because, as horrible as they may be, (genuine) accidents DO happen.

Perhaps it�s the fact that a good number of the guys I�ve dated/known/know don�t feel that my dogs are masculine enough for them. As a result they want nothing to do with my dog(s).

But that's not all there is to the story. Sadly, a handful of them would probably be quite happy that they didn�t have to compete with the dog for my attention and affection. (I should note that none of those assholes are in my life anymore.)