Dear Pain, Fuck You With An 18-Wheeler. Sideways.

My (day) surgery went well. It looks like I�ll have minimal scaring (it was a laparoscopic procedure). The good news is that the anaesthetic didn�t (1.) severely hinder my breathing like it did when I had my wisdom teeth out nor did it (2.) knock me off my ass.

The bad news is: holyfuckingshitthatfuckinghurtsjesusfuckingchristwhydoesthishurtsofuckingmuch?

And since Tylenol 3 and Oxycodone fucking makes my tummy do somersaults like some Southern cheerleader on crack and PCP � I think it�s the acetaminophen rather than the codeine (and is something my entire family experiences as neither of these drugs work for anyone in my family) � guess what my doctor recommended? Advil. Regular, over-the-counter Advil. THE HELL? He was willing to give me, like, a vat of Oxycodones but when I point out that my tummy doesn�t agree to what�s in it I get ADVIL? So it�s okay to push Oxycodone they can�t push any other narcotics? Yeah. That makes PERFECT sense. Yes, I recognize that some people are drug-seekers. Which would have been a valid complaint had I been in the ER and complaining of pain (the same ER where they readily gave me a giant shot of Demerol in the ASS) but:

I�ve. Just. Had. Surgery.

I�m not asking for a fucking truckload of the fuckers. Nor was I necessarily asking for Demerol. I just needed something that was a little stronger than Advil and wasn�t Tylenol 3 nor Oxycodone.

(Frankly, painkiller addiction isn�t that appealing to me since (1.) the high is shit (especially when you vomit � fun times) and (2.) I�m more of a get-addicted-to-pharmaceutical-grade-amphetamines kind of girl.)

What I was asking for is a couple of days� worth. (Because if I still need the uber-painkillers by that point I need to get myself to the ER because persistent pain = bad.)

Living in a rather small town is strange (and reminds you what a small world it is): both my nurse and another patient in the unit are fucking neighbours. Weird, no?