Hey, Beauty Myth? Go Fuck Yourself.
Saturday February 17, 2007 @ 5:42 p.m. ::
Mood: bewildered
Ladies and Gents,
I present to you, Ear Lifts.
I was watching TV this morning and this fucking infomercial kept coming on during the commercials. The product promises to �fix your stretched and droopy ear lobe problem instantly� because, as we all know, sagging and drooping earlobes are just SO UNATTRACTIVE. (When you wear the product, your lobes �look tight and taught.�) Now, on the one hand, I recognize that some women�s ear holes have stretched and, as a consequence, she may have problems wearing certain (heavy and dangly) pairs of earrings. Okay, that�s fair, right?
On the other hand, just listening to how the hell this was presented to the audience was just like any other beauty product. Oh, you can�t have saggy tits earlobes because then you won�t be attractive, won�t find a guy to fuck you (let alone marry you) and you�re well on your way to becoming the crazy cat lady. Okay, thanks for playing but you FAIL.
Dear Ear Lifts,Thanks for giving chicks yet another thing to worry about when it comes to their appearance. Because we don�t already worry that our hair isn�t shiny enough, that our tits aren�t firm enough (or big enough), that little band of tummy fat that we can�t get rid of, the cellulite on our thighs, or the fact that our teeth aren�t white and bright enough,*
Assholes.
No love,
evil
* Having slightly stained teeth � from drinking too much coffee and the like � isn�t, on its own, terribly unattractive. My teeth are slightly stained but I�m too afraid of wearing down the enamel to use anything stronger than a whitening/baking soda toothpaste. Also? If a guy isn�t going to chat you up because you�re teeth aren�t your whitest is an asshole and you don�t need that kind of grief in the first place. (So he�s actually doing you a favour.) Actually, when you think of it, it�s a hell of a lot more gross when your fucking teeth are so white that they�ve taken on a blue hue (this is usually at the point where the teeth are so white and bright that they�re translucent).
